Can't update firmware on V2 hub - no z-wave, zigbee, etc functionality

I understand your frustration. This happens for V2 hubs; they have not been manufactured for over 7 years, so that’s why there’s no official alternative for replacement.
You can get a V3 (Aeotec 2018) or one of the new hubs (V4). The one announced here: Aeotec Smart Home Hub 2 - Coming Soon to Samsung.com.
The first (V3) might experience something similar due to some certificate changes, but blocking the port has helped many users; only those who can’t block the port had to replace it, but there’s a process for it described here: Troubleshooting SmartThings Hub 2018 and Aeotec Hub