I could point to some references on zigbee, but the SmartThings zigbee implementation seems to have some unique failures.
So I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. I think working with support is the best idea.
I will make one comment about the device that “came back” after it was paired again. That would actually be expected behavior because with Zigbee, every device has a unique identifier. So when you add a device for a second time it just slips right back in to where it was in terms of all the other smart apps and routines since it still has the same device ID.
That’s the basis of the following FAQ
Note that this is very different from zwave devices because in Z wave the hub assigns a network ID to the device at the time of pairing.