You just treat each of these as a separate case.
Wife comes home… She’s going to arrive home to one of two states, assuming that your arrival sets mode to Home, and it’s Away prior. So lights on upon her arrival, only during a certain time (hour before sunset until …) and only in a certain mode (Away). Smart Lights can do this.
Lights off after 30 minutes. If those lights were turned on by Smart Lights, then Smart Lights can turn them off after 30 minutes of no motion. Or you might need this little app to turn them off: Turn off after motion stops
Select lights of at 11p. Just use a Routine that runs at 11.
System armed if between 11pm and 5 am. Ditto.