For fan control options, see the following thread (this is a clickable link)
For ways of handling the “people keep turning off the switch!“ Problem with smart bulbs, see the following thread:
As far as figuring out what wiring you have, it can definitely be tricky. If you’re interested in doing your own wiring going forward, a good first step if you live near Home Depot is to take one of their free classes on installing a light switch. Although this doesn’t cover network switches, you will learn how to use the tools and identify the wiring inside the switchbox. And if you happen to be buying networked switches which are sold by Home Depot, such as the GE switches, the instructor may also be able to get you some answers on questions you have about those. But in any case you’ll be much better equipped to address installing your own switches. 
Otherwise, as others have said, you may just want to call in an electrician. It can get pretty complicated.