Audible Personality?

If you have/want an app that provides audible feedback based on device type and status, what are some phrases that you would prepend and/or append to make that feedback more personal/fun?

ie:
Light switch turns on, instead of just “kitchen light is now on”, you would randomly say things like “kitchen light is now on, there goes the electricity bill”, “kitchen light is now on, please remember to turn it off”, “Hey there, your kitchen light is on”.
Light switch turns off, “kitchen light is now off, thanks”, "kitchen light is now off. help, I can’t see"
Door opens, “Hey, the front door is now open”, "Did you know that, the front door is now open?"
etc…
Motion activates, "umm, living room motion is active"
Accelerometer activates, “there appears to be an earthquake or something at the front door”, “There appears to be some moving or shaking at the front door”

I plan to try to implement this into Big Talker in the next several releases, but I figure let’s discuss and other developers can add/expand their personality algorithms based on feedback as well.

Please respond with generic device type (switch, motion, etc), event (on, off, active, inactive, etc) any other special attributes/text, and prepending or appending personality phrase

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The garage door is still open.
The back door opened unexpectedly.
Something moved in front of the basement motion sensor.

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Ready to test when you are.

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Hey dummy, you left the garage door open
(on motion) I see dead people
Shut the door, we’re not cooling/heating the great outdoors (just to bring back those memories of your mom yelling at you as a kid)

I may be too much of a smart alec for this conversation.

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In my use case, I’ll need to add the personality text before and/or after what the end-user is wanting to say rather than modify the specific statement they desire.

For example:
User wants to say “Kitchen Door Unlocked”, so adding personality, we say “Kitchen Door Unlocked, Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!” or “Anyone can just walk right in with the Kitchen Door Unlocked”.

Or user wants to say “Front door is open”:
“All day it’s open, close, open, close. Would you make up your mind? The front door is open”
“The front door is open. Don’t let the ghosts out!”

I turned on a light and it says thanks Thomas Jefferson, should it not be Thomas Edison? Or is that not how it works.

Lol. That was what was intended… I’ll get it changed.

Thanks. It was strange.