My experience is quite the opposite of what you had with the panel. First I don’t see any impact of self monitoring to the usability. It notifies me fine, and the alarm just works. Best is that it doesn’t depend on the cloud to work. What is the problem you are having with self monitoring. The PIR that came with the kit has worked great for me. Much better then the other sensors I had. It may just a be a difference in the sensors, but the ADT Motion sensor works really real. The two modes you mention Armed/Stay and Armed/Away are an industry standard. I don’t think an additional Night mode would really add much. I guess your point is you want some set to alarm immediately in Armed/Stay mode. That would likely be handled by how that sensor is setup just as well. I do think a added Glass Break sensor would be nice, but i don’t suspect much else would be normal for home use. With that said typically the strongest protection in home alarms is perimeter security. This would lead to the Door/Window sensors being the most critical component to keep folks out and alarm before they have the chance to do anything. The glass/break and Motion would augment the security to help when folks actually get in.
You may find that by simply installing a Smartapp called ADT Tools 2 most if not all of your complaints may be resolved I will edit this link again with the details for it.
ADT Tools 2 @ Things that are Smart
ADT Tools enables allot of functions for you to transition from SHM or to maintain some similar functionality. You can setup custom notifications, monitor non adt sensors, manage Alarm state from Smartthings and any other items