@smartn00b @JDRoberts @TheHundredthIdiot
As JDRoberts may remember, I have been looking for smart lighting solutions for a long time but have at my own choice set much tougher criteria. However I have more recently found something that does meet these in nearly all aspects and may therefore be more than suitable for you.
Firstly several Z-Wave micro-modules would work particularly Fibaro and Aeotec spring to mind. These can do dimming, can do 2-way aka staircase circuits and can support 3-way momentary wired switches. They however CANNOT be used with Apple Home so I reject all Z-Wave devices. (We will ignore the fact that you need to get the right radio frequency for your region, we will also ignore the fact that Smartthings no longer directly support Fibaro.)
Sadly all the wired decent dimmer switches like Lutron Caseta are US only.
I have looked over the years at various Zigbee modules and initially a problem was not being exposed to Apple Home, but since Philips upgraded their Hue Bridge to add Matter support this is no longer an issue. What has still been a problem is that Samotech, Candeo, etc., etc. did not support momentary wired wall switches or 2-way staircase circuits - or at least stated this when I asked them. Frustratingly all the Chinese brands like Tuya only do switches/relays and do not do any dimmers as of yet.
A lot more recently however I came across the following brand.
This definitely works with momentary wired wall switches and 2-way staircase style circuits. It also works with the Philips Hue Bridge and is exposed to Apple Home. Via Matter from the Phillips Hue Bridge it is also exposed to a Smartthings Hub. I have tested one of these modules connected to all three at the same time with complete success.
I tested it with a single Philips non-Hue dimmable LED candle filament bulb which you might expect being such a low load would suffer the infamous flickering issue at minimum dim level but I had no such problem. This is however I would regard as a premium LED bulb brand. Enkin like many/most smart dimmer manufacturers including Fibaro and Aeotec do make a matching ‘bypass’ module for this sort of issue but as mentioned I found no need for it. As a tip, the Enkin module does let you set a minimum dim level on the module. I found this most useful to ensure that when I used an app or the wired momentary switch that dimming down to minimum did leave the bulb illuminated faintly. If you allow the bulb to dim beyond that i.e. to zero then you cannot tell if it is on and dimmed to zero, or off. This results in a short press not turning the bulb off and on but turning off and on to zero with no obvious effect.
Note: It can be used from the Hue Bridge in Apple Home via HomeKit or Matter depending on what you set. I tested both but I am sticking to Matter.
So from the dimming perspective this has proven to be that elusive beast - a Unicorn
and ticked all my boxes
. 
I now just need a matching switch/relay equivalent.
PS. The Enkin module says it does not need a Neutral wire. I was testing it in a standalone manner and emulating what would have normally been in the wall.