ok guys,
I worked it out with the help of the wiring diagram for Jasco 45609 that Jasco emailed me after I asked them for help.
I basically had to rewire the Option 9 layout I had to match the 3-way wiring in the Jasco 45609 manual. To do this I had to disconnect the line wire nut and run the line directly into the primary switch, wire nut a new neutral (included with the switch) into the primary from the neutrals going from breaker to lights, in that same neutral wire nut i included the add on switch neutral (so a total of 4 wires in the wire nut for neutral), and then chose an arbitrary traveler wire from those connecting the primary to the add on switch.
Worked out great, good learning experience, now to order the rest of my switches and hope it gets easier from here.
Just to confirm, the switches do work with Option 9 wiring config you just need to leverage the wiring diagram in the jasco 45609 manual.