I had a similar problem… a year or more ago I changed all the switches and sockets in my kitchen area to be Legrand Adorne.
And I sure didn’t want to undo all of that to get ZWave inserted. I chose to use the Aeotec switch and after getting it all wired and joined to my network, I found that the 3-way physical switch part didn’t work. I reset it a thousand times, I put it into “self determine” mode a thousand times, I used Tweeker to set it. Nothing cured it until I replaced it. The 2nd Aeotec switch worked perfectly, first try.
I removed the wires from S1 and used a jumper wire, giving me full faith in the conductivity of one 6" piece of copper. Didn’t work. That was when I started to suspect the physical Aeotec.
The slightly ironic part is I then added an Aeotec Multisensor 6 to the Kitchen area and now I never touch the beautiful Legrand switches at all!!
That’s kinda been my philosophy though… If I’m touching a switch, or reaching for my phone, I’ve done Home Automation wrong.
Sadly, Home Automation just isn’t that reliable yet. Especially with SmartThings and it’s relationship with the Cloud. It feels like something gets dropped on some device, every day. I have 65+ ZWave devices and therefore, even a 1% failure is going to be noticed every day.
I have 3 Zwave Controllers/Hubs on my Network, with only SmartThings using the Cloud. Both of the other Controllers/Hubs are entirely local and when I must reach for my phone, and pick an app, (3 to chose from) if I pick the Local apps, vs SmartThings, responsiveness is better, naturally, and although reliability is twice as good, that’s still leaving 0.5% failure. Enough to see at least every other day.
Difficult to recommend to my non-tech friends and acquaintances. Reliability is noticeably off, Delays are noticeable, costs are too high to do en mass, therefore setup is spread across months if not years, and setup is hard for “us - the early adopters” - near impossible for “second adopters” and so I read messages from them as they give up.